There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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