Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize