sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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