the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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