so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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