Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA