I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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