Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We were destined to go to rehab together
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
