evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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