I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize