between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My dick has a subreddit
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
