just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
my being single is dangerous.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
