I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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