You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
