Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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