And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i was born a porn star she said
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
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Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
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I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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