so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
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he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Boobs speak an international language.
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I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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