well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Green mimosas i think yes
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
