I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
