I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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