It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
