remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
