She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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