uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
you never un-have a 4some
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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