told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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