I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
