I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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