She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize