Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
