I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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