there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
