The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
