he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
