It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
