remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize