she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
