i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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