I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Randomize