a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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