we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
