You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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