so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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