Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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