even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
