Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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