Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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