perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
