why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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