I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
