your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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