Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm too high and old for this...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
