I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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