who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
