well you can't waste a boner
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
