You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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