I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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