There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
