Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
