Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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