I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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