marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
